Back to Champaign

We were scheduled to go back to Champaign today for Emma's follow-up appointment. Sadly, we noticed last week that the lymph nodes in her neck were very swollen. We called U of I and they said that we should bring her in right away. Thankfully, we were both able to take off work on Thursday. Lucas and I knew what it meant, but we were still hoping that they would tell us that what we felt really weren't her lymph nodes. Dr. Schmit confirmed at first touch what we feared - Emma's cancer is back. All of her lymph nodes were swollen. Even though I knew what was coming, it was still so hard to hear. I guess that I've kind of been in denial. I'd kind of fooled myself into thinking that, since she responded so quickly and so well to her chemo, she'd be in remission for several months. I still can't believe that it came back so soon. It's only been 4 weeks since her final treatment. The doctor said that it's good that we called and were able to get her in Thursday. It could've been much worse if we'd waited until today (Monday). This kind of cancer is so aggressive and days really can make a difference. She said that there's always a potential that the lymph nodes, especially in the neck, can swell so large and so quickly that it begins to cause problems with swallowing and breathing. It's unbelievable.

As I sat crying once again in front of the oncologist, she went over our options. If we opted to do nothing more, we would probably have a month. Maybe two. Her recommendation was to start another round of chemo. This time it would be a pill (CCNU). It can be administered every 3 weeks and indefinitely. However, at some point, it will stop being effective. I think Dr. Schmit said typically 2-4 treatments. Sometimes longer. My memory's a bit hazy. :) Our focus is on Emma's quality of life. Again, we don't want to keep her here with us if she's in pain or miserable. It was important to us to hear what the doctor thought. She said that it appears to her that Emma is still enjoying a good quality of life and she was very hopeful that she would respond to the CCNU. She was straight with us and reminded us that no matter what, Emma's not going to make it. Those are the hard facts. But she absolutely recommended that we try more chemo. That's really all we needed to hear. The financial aspect of it just really isn't important right now. There's no way we could say no further treatment as Emma looked up at Dr. Schmit with her tail thumping as she rubbed her belly. We just aren't ready to give up yet. I honestly can't imagine that day......or I should say that I don't want to. My hearts literally aches thinking about it. It makes me absolutely sick to think of someday coming home without her. But it's not here yet. So we will just pray that the CCNU is able to induce remission and that we have more time with her. Even if it's just a couple of months.

So they went ahead and gave her a treatment of elspar, which she had on our very first visit in October. It acts as a chemo "bandaid". They also gave her the CCNU pill. They said that within 24-48 hours we should notice her lymph nodes going down from the elspar. Then the pill should kick in. Thank God that seems to be the case. They are definitely significantly smaller than what they were last week. I'm so thankful that we were both able to get off work and get her in Thursday.

They put her on some medicine to prevent liver damage from the chemo. They also put her back on prednisone. We'll keep her on that from now on. Unfortunately, there are no long-term concerns anymore. I'm happy that she's on it though. She responded really well last time and was playing around like she used to. She barely limped at all last time. It just really sucks that she has bad legs AND cancer, but hopefully this will help both situations. I just need to prepare for lots of water, food, and trips outside. ;) She lost 3 pounds since her last treatment, so she could stand the increased appetite. Altogether, she's lost 17 pounds since last summer! She needed to lose some weight, especially with her knees, but that's still a shocking amount to me. The doctors said she's at a pretty good weight right now though for her legs, but to feel free to let her eat whatever. She's playing the "cancer-card" a lot right now and doesn't get turned down very often when she brings me her Kong. :) The spoiling certainly will not stop now!

Anyway, treatments will be every 3 weeks again. Like I said, we'll keep going until it stops working. We'll just have to hope for the best. We're so grateful for the U of I doctors. Her oncologist, Dr. Schmit, and chemo tech, Jenny, have been really wonderful. I have to admit though, I'm in Champaign WAY more than I ever wanted to be. I really wish treatment was closer. But we're not going anywhere this year for vacation, so right now, I can't think of a better use of my time. I'm just not ready to let her go yet.....she's my baby.