Melmo!

"Melmo? Melmo? Melmo!" That's what we hear around the house these days! Carson has been watching Elmo at school. :) He's recently discovered that Elmo is on his diapers and toothpaste at home. He seems thrilled by this. Almost as thrilled as Mickey (or monkeys) on his pajamas! It's so adorable to hear him talk more. I love it! Of course, he still calls himself "mama" and all of his "m" words kind of sound the same, but that's okay. Lol.

I haven't posted in a while. Figured it was time for an update on the little man though. I'm supposed to be working right now (don't worry, I'm at home), but.......I'm sometimes a bit of a procrastinator! :) Anyway, as it's been awhile, this post is probably going to be a bit random as I try to recall all that he's been up to lately. This is my baby book after all, so I need to get all of those random "milestones". Someday (I promise), I will be a good mom and go back and fill out his baby book completely! At least I have this to look back on. It's just crazy how time passes so quickly and he changes so much! It's hard to get it all down. I'm too busy soaking it up.

Like I said, he's talking more and more. It's pretty amazing to us to hear him. I think daycare has really helped a lot, being around so many other kids - I'm often surprised at some of the things he knows! A couple of weeks ago, I asked him if he wanted some more milk and he nodded and said "more". But I noticed that he also did something with his hands. I asked him again to see if he'd do it again.....and sure enough, he also signed "more". I couldn't believe it. Apparently, they do signing as part of their "circle time" at school. Since then, he's signed several things to me! So cute. What I like though, is that he also says it along w/ signing. He can sign "thank you", "hat" and "all done". Pretty cute. He also now knows all of his body parts. We started just w/ belly, nose and toes, but he's got them all down now. Last night, he even showed me heart. We were reading and saw a picture of a heart. When I said it, he patted his chest twice and said "boom, boom". How cute is that?! I'm just so proud of him learning so much. I'm just fascinated every time he says something new. :) I just love him to pieces! I was just thinking the other day about how I miss him being a baby... but this stage is so much FUN. It's hard to miss it too much.

I can't wait for warmer weather so we can get out and do more together. I'm definitely looking forward to it now that he's older. We at least made it out this weekend for our first walk of the year. I think it helped Emma being able to get outside a little bit. And Carson was more than overjoyed when we pulled his wagon out! We also went to the store this weekend. I know, very exciting. But the reason I share the story is because Lucas and I cracked up as we walked by the produce section. We went by all the onions, apples, oranges, etc. and our precious 18-mo. old screamed "ball, ball, ball, BALL!!" Love it. We laughed so hard.

Okay, so what else have we been up to over the last couple of months??

Discovering love of ketchup!
Surviving first blizzard!

After we dug out....
Helping Daddy clean the kitchen floor
Helping Mommy open her birthday card
Getting a delivery from Old Navy
Hanging out in the "toy chest"
Chasing down the vacuum (one of his favorite things)
Being adorable :)

Trading in our highchair for a booster seat!
Saying "cheese"

Being a big boy
Taking care of Emma ("Sissy")
Dancing

Going blind from Mommy's flash (but look at those eyes :) )
Guess that's about it for now. :)

Back to Champaign

We were scheduled to go back to Champaign today for Emma's follow-up appointment. Sadly, we noticed last week that the lymph nodes in her neck were very swollen. We called U of I and they said that we should bring her in right away. Thankfully, we were both able to take off work on Thursday. Lucas and I knew what it meant, but we were still hoping that they would tell us that what we felt really weren't her lymph nodes. Dr. Schmit confirmed at first touch what we feared - Emma's cancer is back. All of her lymph nodes were swollen. Even though I knew what was coming, it was still so hard to hear. I guess that I've kind of been in denial. I'd kind of fooled myself into thinking that, since she responded so quickly and so well to her chemo, she'd be in remission for several months. I still can't believe that it came back so soon. It's only been 4 weeks since her final treatment. The doctor said that it's good that we called and were able to get her in Thursday. It could've been much worse if we'd waited until today (Monday). This kind of cancer is so aggressive and days really can make a difference. She said that there's always a potential that the lymph nodes, especially in the neck, can swell so large and so quickly that it begins to cause problems with swallowing and breathing. It's unbelievable.

As I sat crying once again in front of the oncologist, she went over our options. If we opted to do nothing more, we would probably have a month. Maybe two. Her recommendation was to start another round of chemo. This time it would be a pill (CCNU). It can be administered every 3 weeks and indefinitely. However, at some point, it will stop being effective. I think Dr. Schmit said typically 2-4 treatments. Sometimes longer. My memory's a bit hazy. :) Our focus is on Emma's quality of life. Again, we don't want to keep her here with us if she's in pain or miserable. It was important to us to hear what the doctor thought. She said that it appears to her that Emma is still enjoying a good quality of life and she was very hopeful that she would respond to the CCNU. She was straight with us and reminded us that no matter what, Emma's not going to make it. Those are the hard facts. But she absolutely recommended that we try more chemo. That's really all we needed to hear. The financial aspect of it just really isn't important right now. There's no way we could say no further treatment as Emma looked up at Dr. Schmit with her tail thumping as she rubbed her belly. We just aren't ready to give up yet. I honestly can't imagine that day......or I should say that I don't want to. My hearts literally aches thinking about it. It makes me absolutely sick to think of someday coming home without her. But it's not here yet. So we will just pray that the CCNU is able to induce remission and that we have more time with her. Even if it's just a couple of months.

So they went ahead and gave her a treatment of elspar, which she had on our very first visit in October. It acts as a chemo "bandaid". They also gave her the CCNU pill. They said that within 24-48 hours we should notice her lymph nodes going down from the elspar. Then the pill should kick in. Thank God that seems to be the case. They are definitely significantly smaller than what they were last week. I'm so thankful that we were both able to get off work and get her in Thursday.

They put her on some medicine to prevent liver damage from the chemo. They also put her back on prednisone. We'll keep her on that from now on. Unfortunately, there are no long-term concerns anymore. I'm happy that she's on it though. She responded really well last time and was playing around like she used to. She barely limped at all last time. It just really sucks that she has bad legs AND cancer, but hopefully this will help both situations. I just need to prepare for lots of water, food, and trips outside. ;) She lost 3 pounds since her last treatment, so she could stand the increased appetite. Altogether, she's lost 17 pounds since last summer! She needed to lose some weight, especially with her knees, but that's still a shocking amount to me. The doctors said she's at a pretty good weight right now though for her legs, but to feel free to let her eat whatever. She's playing the "cancer-card" a lot right now and doesn't get turned down very often when she brings me her Kong. :) The spoiling certainly will not stop now!

Anyway, treatments will be every 3 weeks again. Like I said, we'll keep going until it stops working. We'll just have to hope for the best. We're so grateful for the U of I doctors. Her oncologist, Dr. Schmit, and chemo tech, Jenny, have been really wonderful. I have to admit though, I'm in Champaign WAY more than I ever wanted to be. I really wish treatment was closer. But we're not going anywhere this year for vacation, so right now, I can't think of a better use of my time. I'm just not ready to let her go yet.....she's my baby.

Nice day, despite the drive

I have my car back! Woo hoo! There was one part they weren't able to get ordered in time, but it's just cosmetic. We'll be back in Champaign at the end of February for Emma's checkup, so we'll have it finished then. Turned in my sweet ride (yes, that's sarcasm) and got mine back. They did note some damage on the rental - apparently one of the front guards fell off and scraped along underneath the car. Ugh. Nothing can be simple. He told me that the Peoria branch would pay for it so keeping my fingers crossed. All I know is that I didn't hit anything (potholes, bumps, etc.) that would've knocked it loose on its own. Hopefully, that's the last we have to hear from them. Now we'll just have to wait for the insurance checks. And hope we don't hear back from the rental place on the "damage".

Carson was awesome for the ride, sleeping most of the way there. To salvage the day and at least do something on our trip, we stopped and had lunch in Bloomington. Today was the first Saturday I haven't worked in January and it was so nice to spend a leisurely meal w/ my guys. I feel like it's been a really long time since we've had any quality time together. I'm glad we decided to stop. :) We asked for a highchair and she took us to a booth and asked if we wanted to try a booster. I wasn't sure how he would do, but he was perfect! Such a big boy! It was so fun to sit right next to him in the booth. He fed himself and drank his milk w/ a straw. He's just the coolest little boy (to me). ;) He did such a good job! We got back in the car and headed home. He fell asleep again when we hit the interstate.
Here's my little man on the way home.


Turned out to be a pretty nice day. :) Looking forward to tonight as well. Grandma's babysitting and we're having dinner w/ Bob and Mandy! Yay!

Pics!

Just wanted to share some of the pics from Emma's photo shoot in December. She's so beautiful! :) They didn't scan in very well, but you get the idea. We had them done w/ Patty again - she did Carson's 1-year pics. She did a great job!

Last day of chemo!

Today was our last day of chemo - woo hoo! She was discharged with a report reading "we are so glad that she is in complete remission". And so are we! We were so devastated when we got her diagnosis, but we are so happy and thankful that she's responded so well to her treatments. These last few months (and hopefully many more) with her have been wonderful. The people at U of I are awesome. I just wish they were closer. :)

Today was actually Emma's first car accident too! (Mine as well!) We got clipped as we drove through Eureka by a little old man. He was pulling out from Hardee's and I guess he didn't see us. I saw him pulling out and tried to speed up to get out of his way. Didn't quite make it. We thought we got off lucky - didn't appear to be any damage. It looked like he hit the tire versus the actual car. I guess I should've thought then that that probably wasn't good either. :) We exchanged info and went on our way. We noticed right away that the steering wheel wouldn't straighten out. Figured it was just the alignment. We debated turning around and getting Lucas' car but figured it would be okay. Anyway, we decided to get it checked out in Champaign after we dropped Emma off - make sure it was okay to drive home. Turns out that it wasn't. :( Apparently, the rim was bent and the lateral pins that hold up the suspension were loose or broken. Who knows. But he said it wasn't safe to drive and parts would need to be ordered, etc. So the rest of the day was spent on the phone w/ State Farm and dealing w/ dealership and car rental. Not the day we had envisioned. We thought the most stressful part would be Emma's treatment! Who knew that would be the smooth part. Ha.

We made it home safely and the car rental agency "made an exception" and allowed Emma in the car. As if they had a choice. ;) She seemed to enjoy the new car and slept peacefully all the way home.

Anyway, we were able to meet with the oncologist today before being discharged. She said that she was pleased with Emma's response and she will need to come back once a month for the next 3 months to be rechecked. After that, every other month. So, it looks like Lucas and I will continue having our "date days" in Champaign for a while. Once the cancer is back, we'll talk about our options then. But hopefully it stays away for a long time! We got this little certificate too today. Cute. :)

Emma resting after a long day......

Happy Birthday Emma!

Happy birthday to our first-born! Yesterday was Emma's 7th birthday!! When we got her diagnosis a few months ago, we were afraid we wouldn't see this day. But it came and she's here and in remission. Thank God. We celebrated with lots of hugs and CAKE. :) Emma got her very own birthday cake from My Dog's Bakery. Carson wasn't too happy that he could not share with her......but he got over it. Finally. :) Her request for birthday dinner was her favorite - hot dog. She seemed to have a wonderful birthday. I hope so at least!

Toddler Room!

I know that I need to still post about Christmas, but January is always a busy, busy time and there's just no time to blog! So that will have to wait. ;)

For now, all I wanted to report is that I am officially the mother to a little boy. He is no longer my "baby". Well, as of tomorrow. Tomorrow, Carson finally moves up to the big boy class! He is officially a toddler! Of course, he has been for a while, but now it's official in the eyes of daycare! He will (finally) join his friends again tomorrow! Reunited at last. His buddies all moved up at the beginning of January, but there wasn't room for Carson. So it's just been he and Aubree as the only walkers in Infant II. He spent the first day without them wandering around the room. So sad! And he was SO FUSSY those first few days. He was also sprouting a mouth full of teeth at the time (TWELVE now!!). But I think a lot of it was to do with missing his friends. So while we will miss Ms. Kathy, Ms. Kirsten, and Ms. Molly SO MUCH, we're very excited to be moving up! It gets a little boring with all those babies!

With every exciting new thing, though, it becomes more clear that I have a little boy now and not a baby! I joked with Lucas last week that he doesn't even need us anymore! He's now feeding himself his entire meal w/ a spoon. It's so fun to watch him. He's so determined and so proud of himself when he gets that spoon to his mouth! He's getting really good at it. He won't let us feed him at all. It's actually not so bad because it means that I can eat a hot meal every once in a while too. :) But it's good practice, because they'll be using spoons in his new class. And Dixie cups! No more sippy cups. I still can't quite believe that one. We definitely will need to work on that - we're not even close on that one. They sleep on cots in the Toddler room too. No more cribs! I can't believe how quickly the time has flown by. I may get sad every once in a while that he's not a baby, but he is such an awesome little boy that I can't be sad for long. He's so much fun now. He makes us laugh every day. He chatters constantly - I can't wait until we can understand everything he's trying to say! Lucas was just telling a friend today that Carson is the best thing he's ever done. I would have to agree. We're pretty lucky...

What a boring post with no pictures, huh? Here's a recent one of him getting ready to brush his teeth. He LOVES it, but just this week, he's getting to the point where he won't let me help so we've had some battles. He utilizes the less effective "suck on the toothbrush" method. We'll keep working on that. :)