18 Months!

Carson is 18 months old today! Can't believe a year and a half has flown by already.

He wanted nothing to do with Mr. Elephant tonight. Every time I set it next to him, he threw it down and laughed. :)

Chemo

We heard back from the vet early last week that Emma's white blood count had returned to normal. Yay! So we were able to go to Champaign Friday for another treatment. She did so well. Jenny said that they were very pleased with how well she responded to the new treatment. All of her lymph nodes have decreased dramatically in size since our last visit. One lymph node in her neck remains mildly enlarged so they consider her to be in partial remission. They backed off the dose a bit from last time in hopes that her white blood count won't drop as low. Her liver panel showed mildly elevated results so we're going to stop the steroids for now. Otherwise, they said she was bright and alert and responding well. :) We'll go back in 3 weeks.

Here's Em on the way down. :)

And after, enjoying a well-deserved treat.
She's been doing great this weekend. Hopefully it keeps up!

Spirit Week

As I already mentioned, last week was Spirit Week at daycare. Monday was Hat Day. Here's the rest of the week. :)

Mismatch Day

St. Patrick's Day


Crazy Hair Day
Notice the pink eye above as well. :( It's now in both eyes. We started drops on Friday and it looks like they're starting to clear up a bit now.

Wednesday was Favorite Team Day. It was also Easter Bunny pictures so we opted for a polo vs. sports tee. No pics yet. :) I'm curious to see how he reacted to the giant bunny. Hopefully, it was better than Santa!

Hat Day!

This week is spirit week at daycare. Today was hat day! :)

Look at that face!


I know, he looks like he's 3 in the last one! Ha!

Tomorrow's mismatch day!

Emma update

We got a call last week from our vet. Our oncologist had called him to let him know that Emma's white blood count was low. Jenny had warned us that with this kind of chemo, sometimes the WBC had a harder time rebounding. But we were under the impression that it happened more often after a couple of treatments. It was disheartening to have it happen after her first. :( They started her on some medicine to see if it would help bring it up. She got her blood drawn again on Thursday so we'll see what it says. She's supposed to go for her next chemo treatment on Friday. If it doesn't come up, I don't know that they be able to give her another treatment. The hard reality is sinking in that we're not going to have much time left with her.

It's really hard to think about, but we at least briefly discussed "the end" with our vet. He now makes house calls. He assured us that he could come to the house when it's time. That's very comforting to me to know that she'll be with us at home and not in some tiny, cold exam room. She'll be on her pillow and surrounded by her favorite toys, etc. She's been such a huge, wonderful part of our lives and I only hope that she's had a wonderful life with us as well.

We're not giving up yet though. We'll see how this week goes and plan on another trip to Champaign! :)

Melmo!

"Melmo? Melmo? Melmo!" That's what we hear around the house these days! Carson has been watching Elmo at school. :) He's recently discovered that Elmo is on his diapers and toothpaste at home. He seems thrilled by this. Almost as thrilled as Mickey (or monkeys) on his pajamas! It's so adorable to hear him talk more. I love it! Of course, he still calls himself "mama" and all of his "m" words kind of sound the same, but that's okay. Lol.

I haven't posted in a while. Figured it was time for an update on the little man though. I'm supposed to be working right now (don't worry, I'm at home), but.......I'm sometimes a bit of a procrastinator! :) Anyway, as it's been awhile, this post is probably going to be a bit random as I try to recall all that he's been up to lately. This is my baby book after all, so I need to get all of those random "milestones". Someday (I promise), I will be a good mom and go back and fill out his baby book completely! At least I have this to look back on. It's just crazy how time passes so quickly and he changes so much! It's hard to get it all down. I'm too busy soaking it up.

Like I said, he's talking more and more. It's pretty amazing to us to hear him. I think daycare has really helped a lot, being around so many other kids - I'm often surprised at some of the things he knows! A couple of weeks ago, I asked him if he wanted some more milk and he nodded and said "more". But I noticed that he also did something with his hands. I asked him again to see if he'd do it again.....and sure enough, he also signed "more". I couldn't believe it. Apparently, they do signing as part of their "circle time" at school. Since then, he's signed several things to me! So cute. What I like though, is that he also says it along w/ signing. He can sign "thank you", "hat" and "all done". Pretty cute. He also now knows all of his body parts. We started just w/ belly, nose and toes, but he's got them all down now. Last night, he even showed me heart. We were reading and saw a picture of a heart. When I said it, he patted his chest twice and said "boom, boom". How cute is that?! I'm just so proud of him learning so much. I'm just fascinated every time he says something new. :) I just love him to pieces! I was just thinking the other day about how I miss him being a baby... but this stage is so much FUN. It's hard to miss it too much.

I can't wait for warmer weather so we can get out and do more together. I'm definitely looking forward to it now that he's older. We at least made it out this weekend for our first walk of the year. I think it helped Emma being able to get outside a little bit. And Carson was more than overjoyed when we pulled his wagon out! We also went to the store this weekend. I know, very exciting. But the reason I share the story is because Lucas and I cracked up as we walked by the produce section. We went by all the onions, apples, oranges, etc. and our precious 18-mo. old screamed "ball, ball, ball, BALL!!" Love it. We laughed so hard.

Okay, so what else have we been up to over the last couple of months??

Discovering love of ketchup!
Surviving first blizzard!

After we dug out....
Helping Daddy clean the kitchen floor
Helping Mommy open her birthday card
Getting a delivery from Old Navy
Hanging out in the "toy chest"
Chasing down the vacuum (one of his favorite things)
Being adorable :)

Trading in our highchair for a booster seat!
Saying "cheese"

Being a big boy
Taking care of Emma ("Sissy")
Dancing

Going blind from Mommy's flash (but look at those eyes :) )
Guess that's about it for now. :)

Back to Champaign

We were scheduled to go back to Champaign today for Emma's follow-up appointment. Sadly, we noticed last week that the lymph nodes in her neck were very swollen. We called U of I and they said that we should bring her in right away. Thankfully, we were both able to take off work on Thursday. Lucas and I knew what it meant, but we were still hoping that they would tell us that what we felt really weren't her lymph nodes. Dr. Schmit confirmed at first touch what we feared - Emma's cancer is back. All of her lymph nodes were swollen. Even though I knew what was coming, it was still so hard to hear. I guess that I've kind of been in denial. I'd kind of fooled myself into thinking that, since she responded so quickly and so well to her chemo, she'd be in remission for several months. I still can't believe that it came back so soon. It's only been 4 weeks since her final treatment. The doctor said that it's good that we called and were able to get her in Thursday. It could've been much worse if we'd waited until today (Monday). This kind of cancer is so aggressive and days really can make a difference. She said that there's always a potential that the lymph nodes, especially in the neck, can swell so large and so quickly that it begins to cause problems with swallowing and breathing. It's unbelievable.

As I sat crying once again in front of the oncologist, she went over our options. If we opted to do nothing more, we would probably have a month. Maybe two. Her recommendation was to start another round of chemo. This time it would be a pill (CCNU). It can be administered every 3 weeks and indefinitely. However, at some point, it will stop being effective. I think Dr. Schmit said typically 2-4 treatments. Sometimes longer. My memory's a bit hazy. :) Our focus is on Emma's quality of life. Again, we don't want to keep her here with us if she's in pain or miserable. It was important to us to hear what the doctor thought. She said that it appears to her that Emma is still enjoying a good quality of life and she was very hopeful that she would respond to the CCNU. She was straight with us and reminded us that no matter what, Emma's not going to make it. Those are the hard facts. But she absolutely recommended that we try more chemo. That's really all we needed to hear. The financial aspect of it just really isn't important right now. There's no way we could say no further treatment as Emma looked up at Dr. Schmit with her tail thumping as she rubbed her belly. We just aren't ready to give up yet. I honestly can't imagine that day......or I should say that I don't want to. My hearts literally aches thinking about it. It makes me absolutely sick to think of someday coming home without her. But it's not here yet. So we will just pray that the CCNU is able to induce remission and that we have more time with her. Even if it's just a couple of months.

So they went ahead and gave her a treatment of elspar, which she had on our very first visit in October. It acts as a chemo "bandaid". They also gave her the CCNU pill. They said that within 24-48 hours we should notice her lymph nodes going down from the elspar. Then the pill should kick in. Thank God that seems to be the case. They are definitely significantly smaller than what they were last week. I'm so thankful that we were both able to get off work and get her in Thursday.

They put her on some medicine to prevent liver damage from the chemo. They also put her back on prednisone. We'll keep her on that from now on. Unfortunately, there are no long-term concerns anymore. I'm happy that she's on it though. She responded really well last time and was playing around like she used to. She barely limped at all last time. It just really sucks that she has bad legs AND cancer, but hopefully this will help both situations. I just need to prepare for lots of water, food, and trips outside. ;) She lost 3 pounds since her last treatment, so she could stand the increased appetite. Altogether, she's lost 17 pounds since last summer! She needed to lose some weight, especially with her knees, but that's still a shocking amount to me. The doctors said she's at a pretty good weight right now though for her legs, but to feel free to let her eat whatever. She's playing the "cancer-card" a lot right now and doesn't get turned down very often when she brings me her Kong. :) The spoiling certainly will not stop now!

Anyway, treatments will be every 3 weeks again. Like I said, we'll keep going until it stops working. We'll just have to hope for the best. We're so grateful for the U of I doctors. Her oncologist, Dr. Schmit, and chemo tech, Jenny, have been really wonderful. I have to admit though, I'm in Champaign WAY more than I ever wanted to be. I really wish treatment was closer. But we're not going anywhere this year for vacation, so right now, I can't think of a better use of my time. I'm just not ready to let her go yet.....she's my baby.